After substantial weight loss it can take time to get used to your new size. Looking in the mirror you may still see the weight there sometimes and it can get a bit confusing. This can lead to panicked, obsessive compulsive behaviours, such as constantly weighing yourself or tracking every bite you eat and looking in the mirror, changing your outfit 5 times because you ‘look fat’ or seeking reassurance from others.
This is known as ‘phantom fat’ and is part of body dysmorphic disorder. This disorder is where you believe a flaw, real or perceived, is far more obvious than it is. Those most likely to experience this distorted body image are those with depression or obsessive-compulsive disorder already.
I know, I have been there, I still struggle with what I see but I know I’m not alone. I lost over 4 stone a few years ago and although it changed my life, it also messed with my brain. I weighed myself every day for several years. I went ‘off’ foods to restrict my diet, I constantly prayed for comments from others to reassure me I looked slim.
This is because although my weight had gone, I hadn’t dealt with what was going on on the inside. From being in a violent and abusive relationship and from what led me to be in that relationship in the first place. If we don’t deal with that, we won’t be truly healthy.
It can be quite difficult to bring what you see and what others see into alignment though. It may be that you need to deal with a relationship in which weight played a key role, or with past experiences of being bullied or shamed, as I was in my relationship.
You may need to practice telling yourself a different message about your size, like that it doesn’t matter, which isn’t as easy when you have obsessed over it for your whole life.
If you get down to ideal weight but your still not happy with yourself, it might be time to talk to someone about how you feel.
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